Until He's Born

I was born in 2005 and witnessed the last decade of China's one-child policy. When I was a child, my mother became pregnant again, and I felt jealous and insecure about losing my parents' attention. This led me to feel malice towards my unborn sibling. My mother later chose to have an abortion. For a long time, I felt guilty, thinking that my hostility had prevented my sibling from being born. However, as I grew older, I realized that the one-child policy was the root cause of the situation. Through conversations with other only children like myself, I came to the realization that my experience of having unborn siblings is not unique and it became almost a shared trauma. The population planning program in the country for more than 30 years, had become a never-ever sign of the times and national, generational memory. They motivate me to create the film Unborn. In this film, the theatre becomes an axis and a symbol that condenses the traumas of two generations. The destinies of people in Zheng's family are gathered in one space, constantly turning and changing. I chose a dual narrative thread in this film to show Zheng's childhood memories and his journey to find the headstone of his unborn brother to highlight the significance of memories in a person's growth. The trauma affects not only childhood but also the developmental stage, and compromising with memories is a huge lesson for Zheng and everyone. The prequel story was after the unborn brother was aborted; the incident was never mentioned again by the family and became taboo, and there was no one to educate him on how to live with this grief. In the main story, the younger brother embodies a kind of divinity. His growth measures time and guides Zheng to realize that the tragedy was caused by the social background at that time, which resulted in trauma for a generation of only children. The character of the unborn brother is more of a "magical realism" feeling and carries my good wishes: Many people are struggling to heal from the traumas of these times, and I hope my film can provide a chance to make peace with memories and an opportunity for reconciliation.

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